RUN WITH US

Thirty-three hashers gathered at the Seatourn Clubhouse (Seatourn Bowling Club) for some pre-lube bevvies to brave the Wellington inclement weather (windy but not wet) to attend Corpus-l 1000th run on Saturday 31 August 2024. Most Wellington clubs were represented as well as a smattering of imports (namely MB – Napier and Pannekin-Nelson).

The motley crowd gathered outside (just as a shower of rain whisked through - poor SUNBEAM got a tad damp.) 

 The run headed off in a westerly direction and then split. The walkers took the low road and the runners the high road ...

 Corpus-l selected a fantastic and elevated piss stop (above the Seatourn primary school - was this one of his haunts?) out of the wind (mostly) with views. There was lots of choice of tipples (beer, wines, mixers). The piss stop was on the track upon which there were a bunch of locals walking their dogs wondering what we were doing (answer: drinking). We didn't like having to carry the piss up the hill though!

The fines session, well led by Capital GM Scrac Thing predominantly (and rightly so) concentrated on Corpus-l's achievement and he was lucky enough to get a few extra drinks during this fines session (how's the head Corpus-l?)

 Great event Corpus-l (you did a great job - ably assisted by the foodies CHIPS, TINKLES, JABBERWOCKY & FIRE) and congrats on joining the 1000th club.

The weather gods ignored prestigious Taniwha, Crabstick, drizzling on Waitawheta Camp for the Mount Hash 35th anniversary and 1888 run weekend. But, that did not stop a group of 65 hashers from heartily enjoying themselves.

Shortly after 2pm on Friday, most of the 21 motor homes and caravans had arrived, filling the main carpark.  Mount regulars, former Mounties and visitors from numerous other Hash kennels greeted each other with gusto and drivel.  Chatter and drinking was broken only by a sausage sizzle and an opening address by GM Smegma. The banter ran well into the early and not-so-early hours, with far more than the forecast supply of beer, cider and wine consumed.  Trips to the chiller store were regular as many lies were told and people got reacquainted.

The Saturday plan was outlined by the hares, with a departure from the standard hash trail with runners and walkers groups. The rain promised to obliterate the flour and sawdust trail, so a contingency plan was hatched.  There would be nine trail options, varying from a 2.5km walk to the windows trail and back, to an 11km ballbreaker, covering the whole course. The trail markings would now include checkpoints ingeniously disguised as DOC signs with distances marked on.   Participants were encouraged to put their name on a list for their chosen trail, to assist logistics, but could still mix and match on the day.

The logistics consisted of a 40-seater bus, which arrived soon after 10am to take 23 intrepid souls to the start of the ballbreaker, Dickeys Flat campground.  Several of the group, including Sourpuss, Pannikin, Kahluis, Blow-out, Worm, Bird Table and Snag decided on completing the ballbreaker, with Waikino Pub as their destination, while the remainder set out for Karangahake Hall, much nearer and with respite from the weather. 

The Dickeys Flat trail was a little muddied by rain from the preceding day, but was otherwise in great condition.  It took hashers through a puddle-laden dark tunnel to the Hole in the Rock cascade.  Normally a popular spot for families with floating devices, it's tranquility was invaded by hashers posing for photo's in front of the swimming hole, the hole-in the rock mini-waterfall, and the cascading rapids of the Ohinemuri river. From there the pack followed this popular hiking trail to the start of the windows walk. 

The beginning steps marked the only hill on the whole trail!  Our intrepid bunch entered the dark labyrinth, exploring lookout points above the river gorge, and following the ancient tramway tracks.  A few photos later it was down through the winding Crown Mine battery trail, past a number of industrial relics, and on to the rail trail cycleway. 

The ballbreakers were through in remarkably good time, heading over a suspension bridge to Karangahake Hall, and across the rail bridge into the 1km long rail tunnel.  The light at the far end took a long, long time to appear closer and brighter, but eventually provided the escape route back onto the Hauraki cycle trail.  The route from there was not up to hash standards, being flat, wide and scenic the whole way to Owharoa Falls. And no flour or chalk remained visible...  But, with so much rain around, the falls did not disappoint for those happy for a 100 metre detour off the cycle trail.  From there is was less than a kilometre to the Waikino Pub, which was due to open at noon.

Now, you may think of the typical hasher as thick, unable to follow instructions or rules, and motivated only by drinking as much as possible, as soon as possible.  But, there was great intelligence shown by a group who belatedly decided to have the bus drop them off at Owharoa Falls.  After viewing the falls and wandering around the historic Victoria battery area, they arrived at the Pub 20 minutes before opening time.  But, this resourceful group, lead by Pinecone, Rewd, Gypsey, Mongo and Xerox negotiated an earlier opening – beating the leading ballbreakers to the bar and the warmest spots in the Pub.  Come to think of it, maybe it reinforced the stereotype after all!

The ball-broken runners were lead in by Kahluis and the Worm.  The former changed into a souvenir Hash T-shirt that featured the Waikino Tavern prominently – a relic from Taupo's Nash Hash from the same place.  This got the bar staff well on-side with a growing group, which included Orgy – looking remarkably fresh after the ballbreaker!

The remaining bus drop-off was at Karangahake Hall, which boasted a large balcony, suitable for bag drop-off, lunch and thirsty hashers at varying times.  It was also a short walk from the long railway tunnel, for any pussies who did not want to get wet while out on the trail.  As walkers and runners finished their chosen trails, they gathered on the balcony to compare their experiences – but two were missing- Suk-Inn and Dragon Lady.

These two Hussies were secretly lounging around in the palatial, heated 5-star kitchen in the Hall, waiting for a marvellous lunch, comprising ham off the bones, buns, salad, fuit and sweets, to materialise!  Upon arrival of the bus soon after 1pm, having just picked up a large group anchored in the pub, said lunch was taken out to the balcony for gluttonous ritual by the full hash group.

Nev, our bus driver completed his duties with two deliveries back to Waitawheta Camp.  The second of these included the workers and those who chose to watch the workers.  Muffy did a wonderful demonstration of driving a broom single-handed, and Suk-Inn and Dragon Lady completed their herculean shift, leaving the hall as it was found.  

Back at camp, priority was to build a warming bonfire in the yard.  Humpy, as always, was well prepared for the occasion, and obliged with support from his pyromaniac helpers.

After waiting for half-time in the All Blacks v Fiji match, the fines session started around 3.15pm, with the RA, ABN, ingeniously reversing the usual order of fines, being one of the hares herself.  Amongst those fined was a small group purporting to be at the inaugural run for Mount Hash, 35 years ago.  There were also fines for past GM's of Mount, and for current GM's.  At time there seemed to be more being fined than watching! The piece de resistance came from Frank Spencer, wearing pants from his ancient sitcom, doing an impression of Some Mothers from Norwest Hash, and expounding on how complicated hash had become in the modern era.

Then, the beer flowed, with some of it being drunk.  It was time for the boat races.  To any naive observer the skillset appeared to be in knowing when to complain about what rule was being breached, to ensure teams were disqualified or had to do repeat sets to fatigue themselves.  Anyways, the cream (froth?) eventually came to the top, and a team featuring Xerox and Bird Table narrowly beat a team featuring Bird Table and Xerox in the final.  Clear as mud?

Original Mount GM Gladdy arrived for the evening with partner Bounty, allowing the birthday proceedings to proceed.  After Smegma addressed the throng of hungry hashers, Gladdy provided a great speech from the heart, thanking those irresponsible for a marvellous weekend, including 69er, with his puzzles and entertainment.  A cascading montage of historic memories adorned a screen, attracting many viewers for long periods.

Dinner was quite up-market for Hash, comprising roast lamb and pork, carrots and beans and mashed potato, with fudge brownie for dessert.  What a wonderful effort from the kitchen team lead by Suk-Inn, Dragon Lady and Smegma, Pokin-Out and Farmer Tom!

An earlier night was had by many – but not all, until the supply of alcohol was decimated, with not enough left for a piss-stop for the Sunday Wreckovery.   Remarkably, the kitchen team were up for it again on Sunday morning, providing a great cooked breakfast, with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausages, toast and beans. 

When it was time to commence the pack-up, many willing souls responded.  Quick progress meant that a full wreckovery trail was possible. The survivors of the weekend ambled down to the Franklin Road bridge, less than half a km away, and gathered under the bridge in light rain.  Songmaster Worm lead a spirited rendition of Singing in the Rain, for those who still had a voice.  Then, remarkably, on the way home,the sun shone through briefly.  It was like a subtle reminder from the weather gods saying how much they enjoy dicking around with our Taniwha! 

Farewells were said soon after 10am, and folk began their return journey earlier than many hash weekends would allow.  Some were even able to boast on their ability to escape chore duty, by arriving back in Auckland by noon!

Reportedly, 823 stubbies, bottles and cans of beer, 56 of cider and 46 bottles of wine were laid to rest over the weekend.  Just as many memories of the past 35 years of Mount Hash were resurrected, and no animals were killed or harmed during the making of this production.

On on Copteaser